Truth?

Truth? Clutter drives me nuts. It makes me feel that I have left something undone, not complete, scattered. I look around the house right now and the table is covered with mail, a pumpkin project, school books and my own papers. There is a towel hanging on the chair to dry and a vest crumpled in another chair. Blankets lay in a heap on both couches and the cowhide rug is speckled with dirt and dust. Boots and slippers are by the fireplace and the dog bed is dusty and covered in hair. The cob webs have taken over…again. Dust and dirt and bits of hay cover every floor in this house, leaving me to wonder how hay made it to the upstairs bedrooms that haven’t had an occupant for months.

I’ve moved things out of the office because there is paperwork covering the desk and I haven’t sorted the bills. Weebeast and I have been using the dining room table for school and work. Papers, magazines and catalogs get stacked out of the way when it’s time to eat.

Dishes sit in the sink and on the drying rack and there are some on the counter waiting to be put away. I haven’t vacuumed in days. Enough days that I’ve lost count and have no memory of where I even left the vacuum…or how to spell that word.

It makes me feel as though I’ve done nothing. Truth be told, if someone walked in and saw me typing right now, I supposed that’s what they might assume. There’s some truth in it. I have spent a fair amount of time on the computer lately too, letting things I enjoy take more time away from the things I don’t.

It’s the season we are in, I suppose. Hunting season has taken Husbeast away most days. He’s in and out and when he’s here we are outside, situating cows, calves and bulls, lining out our “what’s next” plans and enjoying the decent weather that’s left. Sometimes we are both doing nothing and enjoying the fact that we can, together. When he’s away, I’m schooling and feeding calves, checking cows, organizing hay deliveries before snow shuts them down and ordering protein for the cows for the same reason. I've also got to get another truck scheduled for the calves that remain. There are bookkeeping duties to attend to and brand inspecting to be done for neighboring ranches. These days, we are all shipping or shuffling cattle and its dark to dark hours with no concern given to the numbers on the clock or what daylight savings time means. Some of these days requiring schooling in the evening hours with bedtime creeping up before the lessons are done. Weekends and holidays don’t mean “days off” as much as they mean “catching up on school.” The days blend together, with Monday and Friday feeling like twins.

When we finally slow down, I can’t seem to make myself get excited about cleaning house. My dislike for the clutter will eventually overpower my desire to melt into the couch and I’ll be at it, one room at a time. I’m pretty sure the floor won’t see a mop until May or June, but I can do a heck of a job spot scrubbing with my feet on a towel the way my mama taught me.

To an outsider, it’s a sign of laziness I suppose. To my ranch wife friends who are shuffling the same things, (and more even) that I am, they know. We are hustling, bustling and busting our butts.

It’s just not reflected in our housekeeping these days.